In a couple of days I'll be heading out from Haiti and into Latin America...
So before I leave for a long break, I want to write my initial thoughts after about 3 months living in Haiti. Some of these thoughts you may not agree with, but I am really trying to be honest and I'm mostly journaling so I can follow my progression of thoughts and ideas on Haiti and development. I realize we often say things that we see as matter of fact, when we are really just speaking out of ignorance or frustration. So, if you find yourself disagreeing with my thoughts, feel free to post your reply or just take them as my venting.
What do I know about Haiti now:
I know that it was hit by a large earthquake and from the looks of it now, it very well could deserve to be named the worst earthquake in the history of the Americas. It's a small country, with lots of mountains, lots of people.... at least in Port-au-Prince, they swarm the streets. The roads are aching with pits and potholes everywhere. Huge pieces of rocks and stones are all over the place... where did these come from? There is no such thing as a smooth, nice, relaxing drive in Haiti. My stomach sinks-in every time I drive and the huge speed bumps hit the bottom of my SUV so hard that I can literally feel them under my feet. Every time I drive I think about how awful these roads are, and how I should've not listened to my dad about the no need for new tires, and then I fight with the thought that these roads really should've been fixed by now. Then I wish I had the freedom to just walk in the streets, and not have to sit in the snail-like traffic. I get upset with the government... what are they doing with the billions that is given to this country? This is basic... fundamental to the infrastructure of a country.... Fix the roads and maybe commerce would be less costly, transportation would be easier.... I don't know.. it just makes sense to me. Fix the roads! If anything, people would be in a much nicer mood throughout the day.... Fix the ROAD...business will run smoother, your economy will get better. If a businessman comes and visits the nations capital... I'm sorry but he WILL judge a book by its cover... and your cover Port-au-Prince is decaying and not solid at all..... streets with huge I'm talking about 3 feet deep, 4 feet wide potholes on a major road!
Unacceptable. Forget about business at night... You can count the number of light posts on your way home from the city- center! What about power? Why is there not a reliable power source? Our home has a generator, which has to run the entire day pretty much because there is no power!
Haiti govt. owes the electric company money, it never pays its bills, so the company cuts the power daily!... Really?? Come on... and then you go to these restaurants and see the uppity people, a lot of them Haitian with their new cars, gucci, versace, and whatever other brand name accessories and clothes they wear. There is a large enough elite to at least provide some money to fix the countries roads....or pay the electric bill. But you know what they decide to do instead? Mess up the roads leading to their Miami Vice houses so that there is less traffic going by their houses and their neighborhoods.... Pay a police man instead why don't you!
A lot has been rebuilt since the earthquake but I still pass by about two "tent-cities" daily to go to work. People are still living in tents and I'm coaching/equipping two women who do not have jobs. One of them has never worked and the other only worked in a factory. Unemployment is at a 80% high. People are just trying to make it by selling what they can afford... there are tons of roadside merchants.... bread is a hot item (young Haitian boys will buy bread from the bakery and sell it to get 10G in profit... which is pretty much like a quarter..and no you can't buy food with 10G.)
Oh, most people don't have running water. There are these water pipes where I see people go and bathe themselves (their faces, arms, and legs) You always see girls carrying buckets of water to their homes and these guys selling little plastic bags of water. I think they sell 2 for 10G. It's like a quarter of a bottled water.... but its filtered so thats good. On major roads... tons of boys are wiping the dust off your car for work. I found out most people give them about 5G per car..... again.. not enough to buy a meal. They work until they can get enough to buy food that day. Yea this is true in other countries also, but I'm sure it's not at the magnitude that it is here....
Education in Haiti is a privilege. Most people will only obtain 4 years of primary education. Most teachers barely finished 9 years of education.... The government promises free universal primary education, but that hasn't happened and people are beginning to show their anger. Yesterday there were manifestations and protests in the city against the government. I don't blame them... I don't know what I would do if I lived in a country like this with no out, little opportunity, little access. I guess these places really test your endurance and your faith.
Haiti's shops are colorful, their public transportation called Tap Taps and motorcycle taxis are colorful and always jammed pack. They drive so slow... you don't want to get stuck behind one of these.. they stop like every 5 minutes. They should have their own lane. On their shops and transportation, there is always some type of statement about Bondye... God, or Jezi... Jesus. The blood of Jesus, Patience, glory to God... always something religious... Which leads me to wonder what made them write these? How do they continue to have faith regardless of their circumstance? Is it fear, is it like a talisman to ward off evil or a lucky charm to bring in good?
I taught about 25 boys, off the streets, from ages 8-19 (maybe 22.. they don't really know their age), they all come from broken homes. From the ones I have heard from, not one has a solid relationship with his father. Most of them only know him as their father and they see him around in the city from time to time. They have been abandoned, kicked-out, treated unfairly, and pretty much forgotten. But they come to this make-shift school each day really early knowing this as their one opportunity.... free education, we give them food each day, breakfast and lunch... this is probably the first time they've had two meals in a day for a very long time....
The boys demand to be given things... clothes, shoes, candy, water. When they ask me, they demand it from me. Not one of these boys has asked "Could you... or would you..." it's always been "give me" or simply ... "water" "shoes" "shirt" "dollar" Could it be the language barrier... could it be what they are used to. Why me? Are they asking the other Haitian teachers, or Korean staff? I haven't heard them ask them... What makes them think I can provide for them? What do they see in me that I don't yet see... Does the fact that I am a different color, from a different place, make me suitable for providing their requests. If they only knew I really don't have a lot. Or do I? I have clothes, in comparison to them its lots of clothes, in comparison to people in the states, I really don't have a lot. I do drive a car, and have money to put gas in it. I also know people who have money..... I guess they are right... I should have enough to give to them. But why demand... is it a language barrier? I honestly don't think so... even in your eyes you can see when the tone is one of demand or request. Is this entitlement? What is it that makes us embarrassed to ask for help. Why aren't they?
Religion.... It's a mixture of things here.... They are trying to figure it out themselves. I heard being a Pastor was a good job... because you get money from the foreigners. A Haitian boy told me Pastors have their church "zombifiye"..... get it? How sad. Voudoo.... I see people wearing their white clothes and I think voudou.... and on Fet Gede we saw a man without a shirt who had white mud on his body. Later I saw pictures of the same thing as part of a voudou ceremony. Sundays you see people in their best clothes... kids with suits, little girls in pink little dresses and heels, with bibles in hand to go to church. I wonder what they teach them, I wonder what they are learning. If the gospel is transformation... what is going on here....?
The water here is from a cistern beneath our house... it is not filtered... who knows what kind of sanitation it goes through or where it comes from. Thank the Lord I'm not sick or anything. We have to brush our teeth with filtered water because the water will make our breath stink really badly if we use it to brush our teeth. Every time I take showers my skin itches afterwards.. and my hands feel very dry now.. I am always tempted not to wash my hands and not to take showers. I end up feeling more dirty after I take showers.. :-( I regret the day I heard that antibacterial is not good for you because you decrease your immunity or whatever. Every time I wear antibacterial I wonder if this will make me more susceptible to bacteria and getting sick.....
I asked a lady if she had submitted her life to God and answered to his calling and she said... 50/50.... this is what I think the state of the church is here.... 50/50... .
too bad there is no such thing...
Bye ugly roads, Bye nasty water, Bye heat, bye potholes, bye mosquitoes, bye Salamanca's in our house and random bugs everywhere.... I won't miss you.
Can you tell I need a break.... I also have a lot to learn I'm sure.
Tired and on sensory overload.
