To what extent have I loved? I guess you don't know how much really you love a person until you realize how much your willing to let go of or accept in order to fight for him or her. The test of love is in the measure of sacrifice. I always go back to God's love to understand love because it is the purest definition of love, the most genuine, and everlasting.
God has loved us so much, and to many his love is unfathomable because we have never seen anything like it. He gives his son , his friend, his partner, for you whom has little to no regard for the things on his heart.
In relationships I guess you know you love someone when you are willing to fight for them. Even when they may be lost and they have nothing to offer you in return, but you love them because you see them. Not because you want something in return or because you have something to gain apart from the joy of loving them; you just love them. We can probably understand this love more as we become fathers and mothers.
Unrequited love is one of the worst feelings ever. Having feelings for someone who is seemingly oblivious to you... Or who sees you but chooses not to acknowledge your feelings towards him/her. But I wonder if this is pure love? If love expects no return then do you really love that person when you are devastated that your affections are not reciprocated in the way you desire? Why can't you just enjoy loving him/her? I guess it's because you feel there is no receptor of your love. Anyone who has ever felt this understands very well the importance of being open to being loved. Love may be served out on a platter but it takes another to receive it for it to be enjoyed.
God's love was put on display through Jesus and every day in various ways, but its unrequited for him if we are not receptive and responding to it. And this hurts! When you long for this person to truly understand your affections for them and you've displayed your love to him/her; you're there, available, willing, desiring for relationship, but he/she is non responsive or sometimes is and sometimes isn't. You feel like there is a block to the degree you're able to lavish your love on them. Because they don't want your love or they don't understand how much you care about them. Everyday I draw closer to God and I acknowledge his presence and his love towards me I find I am more able to see and receive his love. His love was always there; I'm just more aware of it. I'm more thankful, and it's ever increasing to me. Allowing him to love me was difficult at first because I was just ignorant of his love as my eyes sought for other lovers. But He has been patient with me and it feels like he loves me more now than then, when all along he has loved me this much! I was just unresponsive and unaware.
So, back to this notion of unrequited love in relationships. What if your silent about your love? Is this not love because your afraid to speak up? Doesnt there have to be a point when you are more afraid to have never said nothing at all? Perfect love casts out all fear... Is what the bible says. And if you love me then you will obey my commandments.
Love has a face, it looks like something. Jesus taught this. If you love, your actions will prove it. He of course was the best example of this.
He lavished his love on us by giving his entire self, he loved us to death! And he loved Father God by being obedient as well... By doing and saying what he saw and heard the father do. He didn't force us to follow him, he compelled us to come to him by his love. He compels us to come.
Back to this relationship stuff then, loving someone compels them to receive your love. The bible is very clear on the role of man and women in relationships. He is to love her as Christ loves us. He compels us to come to him with his love. And she is to respond to him with respect and submission to him. She is to accept his love, his leadership, his guidance. Vulnerable... Trusting. Loving by responding to his love. She is able to do this because he has displayed and confessed his love for her, not just for His own pleasure but for her thriving, for he longs to present her beautiful unto the Lord. Amazing!
Pursuer and receptor. So what happens when these roles aren't assumed properly? Confusion, disagreement, and chaos. Isn't it in our nature that we love to be loved and found? Discovered, cherished and captivated to serve freely and be completely vulnerable? And in man's nature to pursue and to find; to be respected and acknowledged as protector, provider, and leader? Has this recently changed? Have roles been changed because girls have made it easy or because guys have become complacent? Anyways... Situations and circumstances vary I wont get into "what in the world is going on with relationships?" and the dozen of friends I have that are "waiting" to be found and the gentlemen running away from the responsibility. Or the Questions of what does it look like to "wait" and the advice I've received from guys that a girl has to drop some hints... All these rules and should and shouldn't. It's a whole lotta assumptions and speculations... Complicatedness left for another blog. But to keep things simple and each one can be real with himself or herself in accordance to scripture.... The best mirror to look into yourself with. We can always get the right standard from there. The truth in scripture is pretty clear, let's take it back to that. Love! Love earnestly! With no fear, pursue, respect, give and receive. Acknowledge and be thankful of the love that is before you. Love the person in front of you. Men be men. Women be women. As we allow God to embrace us, we are released to love in a radical way because we know we are loved fully already. I can love because I know I am loved eternally, I am secure in God's love for me. So when in pain for a persons unrequited love, there is joy in knowing there is love.
Love. Thanks Papa!
